please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
How external is "for external use only"?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
