i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize