She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
