2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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