do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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