Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
