I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Randomize
