see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
