I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
