They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
