the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
