dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize