My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
