It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She bit a glass in half.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
