Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
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