Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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