Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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