from now on my penis is your penis
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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