The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
