I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
