It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
