I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Houston, we have a squirter
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
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