Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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