Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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