Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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