I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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