I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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