That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
