I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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