so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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