Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
