So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
