Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Everclear isn't food dammit
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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