I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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