After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
