kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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