Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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