When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
