As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
