This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
