Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
PANTIES FOUND
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