maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
