my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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