I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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