My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
