and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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