He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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