i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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