Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
