So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
