Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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