After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize