3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
