We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
