Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
