Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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