Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
