The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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