so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
