i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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