Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
