found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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