is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Randomize