I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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